Let's Be Friends!

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and a random unmarked van behind my apartment building is blasting hindi music. Hello summer!

I spent this morning worrying and wondering about whether or not I'll have to get emergency teeth surgery. When my dentist said "schedule an appointment to get your wisdom teeth out by the time you're 17" I figured he was being general. Every few weeks I get a skull splitting headache and spend an hour being like "Oh my God, I have an aneurism, what's wrong with me?" until I remember the dentist's face floating in my mind saying SURGERY, SURGERY, SURGERY.

The truth is, folks, the reason I haven't done anything is because the man terrified me. I mean, he didn't scare me, but his frank manner did. He was all, "Oh God, this looks bad," while I sat there telepathically reminding him to use the 'Anxiety Patient Filter'.

And so, this situation will probably have to elevate to a level of pain so intolerable before I will actually take action, most likely in the form of an emergency.

For now, though, I'll return to my normal everyday routine and the crazy man outside my apartment who has been screaming "FUCK YOU TRANSFORMERS" for the past two hours.

1 comment:

Smelly Danielly said...